My daughter is six. She is so smart, kind, and caring, but also extremely emotional.
Yesterday she had a complete meltdown. “Why?” Because she couldn’t get her tablet to work right. Its old and needs to be replaced, so it routinely goes on the fritz. (Can you guess what she’s getting for Christmas?)
She began crying, growling, and throwing her body around until I gave her “the look.” She does this often, and she knows what “the look” means. We’ve had this conversation many times.
I usually tell her, “It’s okay to feel aggravated or angry. You should never apologize for your feelings, but giving up and crying doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t make you feel any better, so why bother? Close your eyes, take a deep cleansing breath, and then try again. You can always ask for help.”
You may be wondering why I’m talking about my daughter’s life problems and how they have anything to do with anxiety, well I’ll tell you.
I’m telling you this story because anxiety is so much like her tablet.
- It works fine more or less, other times it goes on the fritz.
- It only glitches for a little while, other times it happens for days.
- You can try everything possible and it still doesn’t make a difference.
- You can make a few adjustments, and it’s back to working right again.
All of the time:
It’s a constant battle with the same problems. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
Like I tell my daughter; You can’t just give up, and throw a fit about it. Well I mean, you can. You definitely can, but honestly, does that solve anything? Does it make you feel any better? No, it doesn’t. In fact, it accomplishes absolutely nothing, except setting up a mindset for feeling sorry for yourself.
My daughter catches my look and immediately stops. She knows what to do.
She sets down her tablet and closes her eyes. She stands still for a moment and breathes in deeply. You can hear the aggravation in her slow drawl of breath. She exhales. You can hear how forced it is. The air comes from deep in her chest.
A second time she does this. It’s a little lighter this time. And the exhale no longer comes out as hard and aggravated.
One last time for good measure and her breathing is calm.
She opens up her eyes and takes in one last deep breath. As she exhales, she says “OK” to herself, and tries to fix it again.
Sometimes she fixes it. Sometimes she can’t, and she has to bring it to me for help.
Share on Pinterest
I feel proud of her in these moments, because she, at six years old, has learned some things that most adults fail to grasp.
- You should never apologize for the way you feel.
- You can’t give up and still expect change.
- Crying (without action) doesn’t fix your problems, it just makes you feel worse.
- Life may deal you a hand where you’re in a constant battle with the exact same thing every day. It’s something you have to learn to accept.
- You can try your best without any results, and that’s OK. What matters is that you are trying.
- You may have to ask for help, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I’m not trying to say that it isn’t okay to break down sometimes. Sometimes the bad days are just hard, and you have to cry it out.
Hell, sometimes all I need is a good cry.
It’s just important to keep in mind, you shouldn’t linger in that mindset.
If you have to cry, cry it out boo. But after you’re done, pick yourself up and throw yourself back at that problem like you never fell in the first place.
You are strong. You are a force to be reckoned with, and your anxiety will not keep you from living your best life.
P.S. If you would like to receive wisps of wisdom, be notified about new posts, and also have freebies delivered right to your inbox, please subscribe to my blog
Upon subscribing, you can expect to receive two helpful newsletters per month, early access to any new stuff, and freebies! Yay!
We know how annoying it is to be bombarded by email subscription overload and would never do that to you.
Your privacy is a priority at Kabrinaharwell.com. We do not share your information with any outside parties.
You can rest easy knowing that your details are safe with us!
If you find that you have outgrown us, then you are free to unsubscribe at any time! We make the process super easy for your convenience.
Seriously, there’s no downside here.